I swear to god this substack is the purist hit of schadenfreude I've ever encountered. No matter how bleak my life gets, here's a reminder of how much worse it could be. Really taking one for the team crumps.
Being a bob dylan enjoyer is interesting lore, displays the capacity for masochism and the tolerance for performative obnoxiousness. But at least bob dylan could write.
This is a text about playing an ongoing flirting game with Nekrasova. This text is just a move in this game. In this instance, the reader was completely assimilated into Crumps' jouissance.
I don't know how crumps does it. If I ever found myself in these kinds of spaces I'd be throwing haymakers the second they think I'd put up with deliberate bigotry.
If Matty D was rigorous he would have asked to see the Schmitt annotations instead of just demanding performative acquiescence via n-word utterance... maybe he could have avoided getting splash-zoned! But ppl really don’t be reading beyond the cover 🤣🤣
Mike, if Dasha said you had to let her kick your balls, then spit in your mouth and put out a cigarette in your tongue to get in, would you have said yes?
I can't get on board with this writing style, it's like trying to eat aluminum foil. Each word reads like a rusty nail trying to gouge my eyeballs out. Was this written in hell?
I swear to god this substack is the purist hit of schadenfreude I've ever encountered. No matter how bleak my life gets, here's a reminder of how much worse it could be. Really taking one for the team crumps.
Being a bob dylan enjoyer is interesting lore, displays the capacity for masochism and the tolerance for performative obnoxiousness. But at least bob dylan could write.
Crumps what’s ur favorite bob somg
Starting to seem like the M. Night Shamalan ending of all this is going to be that everyone's really a pre-2008 liberal.
NAFTA is dead long live NAFTA
This is a text about playing an ongoing flirting game with Nekrasova. This text is just a move in this game. In this instance, the reader was completely assimilated into Crumps' jouissance.
This person gets it
aww it sounds like you all had a lovely time. I've been looking for the sequel to Emma by Jane Austen for many years, glad I've finally found it.
I don't know how crumps does it. If I ever found myself in these kinds of spaces I'd be throwing haymakers the second they think I'd put up with deliberate bigotry.
The guys humiliation kink runs to extremely deep and meta levels and I feel disgusted with myself for participating in it
“The other day I was at McDonald’s— for the cruising”
If Matty D was rigorous he would have asked to see the Schmitt annotations instead of just demanding performative acquiescence via n-word utterance... maybe he could have avoided getting splash-zoned! But ppl really don’t be reading beyond the cover 🤣🤣
Mike, if Dasha said you had to let her kick your balls, then spit in your mouth and put out a cigarette in your tongue to get in, would you have said yes?
Your writing makes you sound like a faggot, Mike.
I can't wait for your entries on Calloway and Film01. I love that you are the historian for this demented scene.
I can't get on board with this writing style, it's like trying to eat aluminum foil. Each word reads like a rusty nail trying to gouge my eyeballs out. Was this written in hell?
U don’t eat foil silly u use it to smoke crack
Are you the author or his human toilet?
This sounds like a comeback from wrestlemania like u bout to deck me w the folding chair
I like how you think you're a clever person hiding behind ironic ebonics, it's really adorable.
Tfw u get roasted by bob jenkins 🥺🥺
He wants to be Neal Cassidy when he grows up.
Batman and Catwoman
Catwoman isn’t a spineless racist Zionist fascist dumbass
Like Dasha, I too slapped an incel outside of sovereign house
"As a tale told by an idiot: Much sound and fury, signifying nothing."
Is this guy serious ?
He's larping Jack Kerouac ?
The Beats are all dead and in hell.
Good riddance.
No one cares.
Step 1: quote Shakespeare
Step 2: talk about Kerouac, beats
Step 3: ???
Step 4: good riddance nobody cares
I remember when I thought writing about an event meant just reporting every damn little thing that happened in chronological order too!
Some guy salty
What a great story! Nailed the ending!